Updated: May 29
You get what you give... don't waste your fucks!
Life is all about CHOICES!
Notice the difference in people??? Experiences, CHOICES?
I've spent most of my life looking at the inside shit vs the outside. Yet not at the same time... when I was younger I judged everybody, on their looks and appearance especially. For real, its what I knew. It's what I was taught in more indirectand unclear ways. I was also insecure as fuck too and thought my value was highly held in my size and appearance.
I believe it's why as a kid I would complain to my dad when he would drive around through the mountains on the weekends as a way to spend time and I wasn't amused. I would complain it was a boring way to spend time just looking at rocks and trees. They quoted me on it for years 🤷♀️
We didn't look at things the same, our experience wasn't the same
See... #1, I was a kid... growing up as I was and the simple fact I was a kid... #2, I hadn't been TAUGHT or shown how to appreciate the given realities of life (nature, family, animals) really... #3, I was really fucked up on the inside... what I thought and believed, what I saw and experienced had me so super confused. I didn't understand. So I had no way of appreciating what was right in front of me. The BEAUTY of something so simple. So real. So original. The power of that.
The awesome parts of life!
Took me almost 25 years I think to get back to REAL... as in THE WAY OF LIVING and at least a good portion of that figuring out what that actually means... TO ME.
Programmed conditioning and brainwashing has many faces... even if you think you know, you may not
It's different for everyone I believe... to some degree. To a huge degree I believe we are all very much the same. We have been programmed and conditioned, BRAINWASHED however so heavily we think we are all so different. We THINK we aren't enough. We THINK we are something else. We THINK we are alone often in what we think and feel.
We are CONFUSED.
You are always alone and yet never.
The past 2 years have been some of the most painful years of my life. And at the same time the most powerful and upleveling.
I have healed and grown.
I have freed myself from struggle and I have freed myself from DEPENDENCY on a system..
I understand... it's whatever I believe. It's whatever YOU believe.
I still have times that hurt so bad. They are painful as fuck MOMENTS. I believe that is part of living a authentic present experience... one wrapped in unconditional love ❤️ I mean I really miss my dad (althoughI feel him stronger than ever), my brother, my son... and not to mention im still working this marriage after 22 years. Thats a big deal too!
I understand now what once I didn't, yet the real is still REAL. Not everyone feels as you feel.
I now get to have this experience day by day up on the kind of mountain my dad would have been happy. The kind of rocks and trees experience surrounds me that he would have appreciated. It's the most real authentic life experience I've ever felt... and I've felt a few. I mean I did naturally birth 5 humans for starters 🤷♀️ that's a big deal ❤️
Most of them still enjoy me too... that's an even bigger deal!
GIVE where it matters to YOU. You weren't put here for anything less. Don't waste time on regret of what you didn't know.
Understand however... you always have a CHOICE. Usually lots of them in most situations.
So remember, be CLEAR and SPECIFIC.
YOU get what you GIVE.
Don't waste YOUR fucks!
Oh and here is another of my minds crochet ideas come to life! Crochet Comfy Leg Snugglers!
You want them or something else... you know how to get!
If not... 👇send me some words!